Boxing day

Boxing Day

Scene 1: Tracey’s Bedroom.  Eric, Derek and Lembit are still there, but Tracey has gone out.

Eric: I am exhausted.

Derek: I am stunned.

Lembit: I feel cheeky.

[Ken enters]

Ken: Oh hello. I didn’t realise that you were here.  Are you friends of Tracey’s?

Eric: Well we’re customers more than friends.

Derek: But we are quite friendly.

Lembit: And I’m quite cheeky.

Ken: Yes….. I see… I think.

Scene 2: Emily’s house. Emily and Norris are entertaining Mary and Rita.

Emily: Another sherry Rita?

Rita: Yes please Emily.

Mary: I won’t thanks. I know when I’ve had enough, unlike some people (draws Rita a dirty and jealous look).

Norris: So, what are we going to do? She’s still alive.

Mary: She slept with my Norris.

Emily: That’s funny, she slept with my Norris too.

Mary: (Looks furiously at Emily, hatred filling her eyes) Do you mean..

Norris: (Interrupting and changing the subject): Nice day out there.

Rita: I think we need help.

Emily: From whom, Rita?

Rita: David Platt doesn’t like her either. Nor does Gail, after that incident in jail.

Norris: A birdie told me that Steve Macdonald doesn’t like her either.

Emily: I wonder if they’d help.

Norris: If it rids the street of Tracey, then I’m sure they will.

Emily: I’ll pop into the Rovers and see if they’re there.

Scene 3: (The Rovers. Emily enters wearing her dressing gown and her slippers. She has a few curlers in, but in a much more stylish way than Hilda Ogden ever did. Claire is there, and she’s been mulling over what Tracey had suggested to her about the owner of the initials TB.)

Emily: (approaches bar) Is Steve in?

Becky: Ye, hold on, I’ll just get him. (Goes into the back).

Claire: Hello there T’Emily Bishop.

Emily: Hello there T’Claire.

Claire: Your initials are TB, aren’t they?

Emily: Well, sort of.

Claire: So you’re admitting it then?

Emily: Admitting what, T’Claire?

Claire: (whips out the cryptic note that Ashley left before he died) You’re admitting to having had an affair with my Ashley before he died? You are the TB that he mentions in this note?

Emily: (reads note). No, T’Claire, that’s not me. I used to meet him in my front room, not in the fridge in the butcher’s shop.  TB must be someone else.

Claire: But who?

Steve: Hello Emily, what can I do for you?

Emily: Well it’s a bit delicate, but basically we’re plotting to kill Tracey Barlow and wonder if you want to help us.

Steve: Sure. Becky will help too, won’t you babe?

Becky: Oh for sure.

Gail: (overhearing all of this) I’d help too. And so will my David. We want that Tracey Barlow out of our lives forever.

Claire: Tracey Barlow…. TB… could it mean her?

Emily: Yes, of course!

Claire: Then count me in too.

Emily: Oh lovely. Well the next meeting of the Kill Tracey Barlow Group is tomorrow. Do come along. I’ve got sherry!

Scene 4: Kev’s house.

(Kev is in the conservatory with Baby Jack.)

Kev: I just want my wife and daughters back.

Baby Jack: What about me?

Kev: I can’t make my mind up whether to keep you or return you.

Baby Jack: I feel like an unwanted Christmas jumper.

Kev: Well, you were a surprise to us all.

(Camera pans to Sally on the sofa)

Sally: I don’t want your dad in the house Sophie.

Sophie: But he’s me dad.

Sally: And I’m your mother. Choose one of us. You can either have a father or a mother but not both.

Sophie: Well, I like my mother… but I like my father.  But which do I like better? There’s only one way to find out.  FIGHT!

(Kev bursts through, and the two start to fight.   Camera pans to Baby Jack, who gazes upon the scene.)

Baby Jack: Go on dad. Show her who’s boss.

Sophie: Stop stirring it Baby Jack.

(Credits and music.)